R.I.P., These 5 Things

Now that we have flipped the calendar to a new year, it’s time to say good-bye to some things we all lost in 2017 (besides our collective sanity, because hopefully that just comes and goes). Please join together in a respectful moment of silence for these five things that are no longer with us:

Being All Things to All Patients, an ideal and hope that began somewhere in the brain as an altruistic (yet ultimately unsatisfying) goal, died of exhaustion. Like many utopian and principled dreams, the early years of Being All Things to All Patients were marked with verve and unwavering gusto. He was buried alongside his late brother, Arriving to the Office Super-Duper-Early to Tackle Paperwork. Both siblings are survived by their still-healthy mother, Genuine Desire to Care for Patients.

The Notion That Dermatology Is Only Skin Deep, more of a hope than an expectation, died from what began as a suspicious follicle. Late in her life, signals went up as countless publications highlighted co-morbidities with numerous primary skin diseases, a stark reality that shines a spotlight on the importance of what dermatologists do when they’re not handling mild cases of psoriasis. Residents and medical students interested in skin care are particularly invited to the upcoming burial ceremony, so they can learn as much as they possibly can about The Notion That Dermatology Is Only Skin Deep.

Proper Bedside Diagnostics, a simple but exceedingly important tool that often helped dermatologists arrive at accurate diagnoses quickly and thus empowered them to initiate treatment effectively, was tragically killed. Police are searching for the suspected culprit, Particularly Rigorous Requirements of the Clinical Laboratory Improvement Amendments. Proper Bedside Diagnostics took on several different forms in her life, such as potassium hydroxide (KOH) preparation. Her passing is mourned by a widespread group that includes dermatologists, specimens, microscope slides, and people with mild-to-serious fungal and yeast infections. 

Solo Practices, a healthcare model that combined an entrepreneurial spirit with a deep sense of community and patient care, enjoyed a long and healthy life. He fell increasingly ill over the last few years as venture capitalism and increasing federal requirements began to cut him off from things like breathing air. The official viewing for Solo Practices has not been scheduled, but you can still see nostalgic remnants by talking with professionals currently employed by Integrated Dermatology Groups.

nsurance Coverage of Acne, appreciated in spurts (but never counted upon reliably) by millions of worldwide citizens, including mothers of teenagers everywhere, has gone missing and is now presumed dead. She was last seen with her faithful friend, The Hope of Writing Topical Prescriptions That, You Know, Make a Difference. Literally, you can imagine the reaction.